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Washington, USA
US Secretary of State Colin Powell has briefed reporters on the
possibility that as yet undiscovered Iraqi weapons of mass destruction
may have cloaking or invisibility devices. Powell told a packed
press conference that the US military had been working on cloaking
devices and believed they were feasible in the long term, 'we have
spoken time and again of the dangers posed by Iraqi scientists and
the iraqi military machine, it's perfectly possible that they were
in advance of our multi-billion dollar teams in this area. Powell
also pointed for precedents for cloaking devices in science-fiction
and recent James Bond movies declaring, 'science fiction, no matter
how outlandish it seems, can often become science fact, we should
be extra vigilant against all possibilities, using the principles
of Occam's razor on every suggestion, we must establish where these
WMDs are.' Powell left journalists with a number of photos currently
being studied by the Pentagon that may show invisible weaponry (above).
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Hertfordshire,
UK
Specualtion is rife in the entertainment
world that pop svengali Pete Waterman has begun cloning popstars
from his stable of successful acts. Waterman, culpable for Rick
Astley, Sonia, Kylie Minogue and STEPs amongst others has been meeting
with a number of leading scientists in countries who have yet to
sign the UN accord on stem cell experimentation and sources at HM
Customs report that a routine search of his naggage revealed a number
of incongrous items sealed in plastic bags including a plastic coffee
cup with 'Rick Astley' and a number of used tissues labelled only
with an 'H'. A birthday card from Kylie Minogue to the producer
containing a lipsticked kiss was also observed said the source.
Manchester,
UK
Sir Alex Ferguson has provided a further twist in the will-he-won't-he
transfer of David Beckham to Real Madrid by demanding the England
captain submit a written transfer request. The demand is described
by Beckham's agents as 'Underhand', a spokesman for SFX said, 'Sir
Alex is a wily man and he realises that if he can stall for a month
then Beckham can't move until Christmas, he'll then be cup-tied
for the Champion's League. Ferguson clearly accepts that David is
going to be leaving Old Trafford and this request for a personally
written transfer request could take several weeks to fulfil. We
are disgusted by his attitude and the nature of this unreasonable
demand made on a man who has been a great servant to Man U.'
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London, UK
Leading bookmakers William Hill look
set to change the face of britain's High Street's by replacing their
shopfrontages with a new range of out-of-date sporting photo's. The
new pictures will replace the 1996 shots featuring Ian Rush in his
Liverpool days, a young Steve Davis and Desert Orchid romping home
at Ascot. A spokesman for William Hill said the company intended to
bring the stores right up to date with a shot of David Beckham holding
the 2002-3 Premiership trophy aloft.
London,
UK
Harry Smith is set to break the mould on Wednesday night at 8pm when
he becomes the first explicitly straight presenter of a BBC interiors
program. Hailing the appointment as 'a dramatic step forward for interiors
programming' a BBC spokesperson announced that the corporation hadn't
taken the decision lightly but expressed their belief in a meritocracy
for presenters at home with soft furnishings. Although rumours have
abounded of other straight BBC presenters in the genre, Laurence Llewelyn
Bowen has often been photographed with a woman for example, and Charlie
Dimmock has a large male following, Smith categorically told reporters,
'I like girls, as well as those fabulous tartan throws you can get
now in Purves & Purves'. 'Your Home and You' begins next week. |
Iraqi
WMD may have cloaking devices warns Pentagon,
