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LA,
US
Police in Los Angeles have
been swamped with work after the death of actor Kevin Bacon
in mysterious circumstances at his Hollywood home last week.
Bacon's battered corpse was discovered in his bed, dressed
in camouflage gear and with his left foot partially amputated,
a pose that has led police to theorise that the crime was
committed by a colleague. Det. Dick Kipowicz who is leading
the investigation addressed a packed press conference yesterday
and told reporters, 'Our profilers are convinced that this
murder was committed by someone Bacon knew and most probably
had worked with in the past. But Bacon was such a prolific
performer in films, tv and on the stage over the past two
decades that he can be connected to virtually every artiste
in the industry. It's going to take some time to interview
them all, and the problem has been compounded by the difficulty
of landing interviews with many of these people, particularly
those who have product out in the next few months, or who
are on location.' Kipowicz continued, 'the public should
have confidence though that this incident appears to be isolated
and we don't have a celebrity serial killer on our hands,
or even an normal serial killer specialising in celebrities.'
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LA, US
King of Pop Michael Jackson has escaped from police custody
and is believed to be at large somewhere in California. Los
Angeles Police and Cooke County jail medics believe the star
took advantage of a rapid deterioration in the skin condition
he has suffered from for many years. Vitiligo causes the
lightening of patches of skin but police and medical professionals
believe that Jackson's affliction has become so severe that
the star is now virtually invisible. Cooke
County jail Doctor Mark Greenwood told reporters, 'We believe
that Mr Jackson was aware of his deteriorating condition
and planned his escape based around it, he had recently shaved
off all his visible body hair and fellow inmates had noted
that he was looking even paler than he has been.' CCTV video
cameras recorded Jackson going to sleep in his cell on the
night of June 28th but when officers came to awaken him the
next morning neither they nor the cameras found any sign
of the chart-topper. Jackson is not believed to be dangerous,
but has previously described himself as 'Bad.'
Seattle,
US
MTV reality TV show Punk'd
has pulled off it's greatest coup yet after re-introducing
rock wild girl Courtney Love to the husband she thought
committed bloody suicide over a decade previously. Host
Ashton Kucher staged the reunion under the auspices of
a casting for a new movie about Cobain's life in which
the 'Butterfly Effect' and 'Dude where's my car?' star
was slated to play Cobain. Love had been invited to the
castings in a consultancy role and was recorded gasping
and weeping uncontrollably when Cobain walked onstage after
Kucher's audition was dismissed by 'director' Ron Howard.
Cobain struck a deal to disappear from the rock scene with
MTV back in the late 90's and has since been writing and
unwinding in a secret location. The deal, struck at a time
when rock's first couple were fighting constantly was so
legally tight that Cobain couldn't break it even as Love
spiraled into despair and drugs on hearing of his death.
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Iowa,
US
Police say that progress is being made in the siege at Rick
Rubin's LA studios. Angst-Metal band Slipknot have been holed
up in the studios for nearly six months and police have become
increasingly concerned about the fate a number of sound
engineers and roadies who haven't been seen for several weeks.
Det. Harry Earl told reporters, 'We were alerted to the situation
when a number of local bar owners independently reported several
regulars as missing persons, an investigation revealed that
the common thread between those missing was their involvement
in the recording of an album entitled "Vol. 3: The Subliminal
Verses." by the band Slipknot. Police surrounded the studios
and begun negotiations with a number of masked figures inside.
Two attempts have been made by special forces to storm the
studios but on both occasions a barrage of white hot guitar
noise has kept the troops at bay. A breakthrough was eventually
achieved when a group of fourteen year old negotiators were
brought in to tell the band that their stance was 'lame'.
Los
Angeles, US
Hip Hop's glitterati gathered
in Los Angeles yesterday to mourn the commercial suicide of
50 cent last month. The star's suicide coincided with the release
of his second album last week which features tracks like 'No
war without justification,' 'Stay in School' and 'My life is
not a model but a warning.' Delivering the eulogy Dr Dre encouraged
the audiene to remember the real 50 cent, 'The gansta with
more lead inside him than a Staples store' rather than the
caring, thoughtful artist he had sought to become. 'Cent came
to stardom late, in a hail of bullets,' Dre said, 'We commend
his bad soul to Biggie and all the Saints'. The ceremony finished
with a 438 gun salute delivered by the crowd of nearly eighty
outside the church.
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Thousands
of actors, actresses suspected in Kevin Bacon murder, 